Monday, February 10, 2014

February 10th

Image Copyright Lerin Photography 2014
This weekend, I was in respiratory distress several times.  The only reason I didn't go to the ER Sunday is because I couldn't afford it.  

I went to work today, but left at lunch because I'd gotten my Wednesday appointment moved to today.  When I got to the office, the doctor did a lung function test on me.  I am only at 63% lung function.  This is classified as a "moderate obstruction."  Compared to my October test, I have taken a drastic downward turn.  

She hooked me up to a pulse-oxygen meter, and I was hovering around 91%.  Normal readings are 96% and above.  They brought out another one, just to be sure that the first was working properly.  It gave the same reading.  The nurse hooked it on her finger, and hers was 99%.  The doctor listened to my lungs, and said I needed an oxygen tank right away.

They did tons of bloodwork... my immune system is gone.  I have no immunity to 8 of 14 strep variants.  I have no immunity to diphtheria despite a vaccination last December.  My immune system just isn't responding anymore.  It's tired as I am.

I sat in that office for almost four hours.  I got oxygen, then two nebulizer treatments.  I had lung tests and CT scans.  I got another big does of steroids in office.  After all of the breathing treatments, I was coughing up big plugs and it improved my oxygen reading to 93%.  I was sent home with just about every kind of breathing treatment, control inhaler, and rescue inhaler possible.  She said my next stop is hospitalization if we can't get this asthma/lung stuff under control.

I'm actually dying.  I can't carry my baby across the parking lot.  Going upstairs, I have to sit and rest.  I cough until I vomit.  My always-great blood pressure is sky high.  The steroids I've been on for the last six months have made me balloon up in weight.

For the first time, I understand how sick I am and how dire the situation is.

I've become so sick, that my doctor is only focused right now on improving my ability to breathe.  I am too sick for surgery now.  I am too sick for my allergy shots.  I'm so sick, that I had to have seven prescriptions written for me tonight and had to pick them up to the tune of $240.  On top of how many co-pays, ER visits, urgent care trips...

oh, and this cost me my baby too.  :(

I've never been more scared.  My doctor told me I have to make a decision.  Either I put my health first and get well... not just "better" but WELL... or I need to start making difficult decisions regarding who will care for my kids when I am gone.  That's how serious this is.

I would give anything to go back and take this seriously before I'd done so much damage to myself.  I'd do anything if I could have kept my baby Blaise safe.  I've lost over two years to being chronically ill with sinus infections, bronchitis, and now full blown asthma that isn't controlled at all.

Everything changes, today.  It has to.  I've lost too much.

4 comments:

H said...

My sweet friend...I am so sorry that you are facing so many difficult challenges. :( I am praying for you and for your wellness. xo

bonnie harris said...

Take control of it Lerin!! I call that sickness out of your body in Jesus name!! Satan has no place in my sweet friends life or in her body. Leave her body and take that sickness with you!! She is a child of God, born to live and prosper and function at 100% capacity. God bless her doctors to treat her and help them to heal Lerin. She is too blessed to be taken down by this illness. You my dearest Lerin are loved so much. I am so sorry you are going through this but you have divine power to overcome. Love you!!!

bonnie harris said...

Take control of it Lerin!! I call that sickness out of your body in Jesus name!! Satan has no place in my sweet friends life or in her body. Leave her body and take that sickness with you!! She is a child of God, born to live and prosper and function at 100% capacity. God bless her doctors to treat her and help them to heal Lerin. She is too blessed to be taken down by this illness. You my dearest Lerin are loved so much. I am so sorry you are going through this but you have divine power to overcome. Love you!!!

bonnie harris said...

Take control of it Lerin!! I call that sickness out of your body in Jesus name, Satan has no place in my sweet friends life. Leave her body and take that sickness with you!! She is a child of God, born to live and prosper and function at 100% capacity. She too blessed to be taken down by this. God bless her doctors, help them to treat her effectively, and bless Lerin from the top of her head to the soles of her feet. My dearest Lerin you are do very loved! I am so sorry you are going through all of this. You have divine power to overcome, my dear!! Love you!!