Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The Baby Wait

That darling little baby girl will no longer be the "youngest" by this time tomorrow.

This weekend was rough.  I haven't been sleeping much since contractions started on Saturday, but things started looking a lot more serious on Monday.  I had to go to the hospital all day thanks to some uncontrollable vomiting and get some IV fluids & medicine.  Once I was hydrated again, contractions slowed way down and I went home.  Tuesday (which feels like today since I haven't slept yet!) I got the lovely news that my every 10-12 minute contractions HAD been doing their job.  I dilated 2 more cm since my release from the hospital.  :)

Contractions are getting more intense and closer together as I type, but if they don't reach the every-five-minute mark before 5 AM, I am still going in to the hospital.  I will be getting some help to speed things along.  I am so excited.  Too excited to sleep.

It always happens to me though... I always end up crying into my pillow with a little co-sleeper next to me, knowing that the littlest one will seem not-so-little soon.  As Adam and Lucy dropped off to sleep immediately, I lay there and cried, snuggling her and wetting her crazy curls with big tears.  My tiny Lucy, by this time tomorrow, will seem to have grown a head taller and 15 pounds heavier.  It always happens to me... holding my newborn, my recently "youngest" child suddenly seems SO big, comparatively.

I truly love being a mother.  I love to watch them grow up.  But this is not my first, second, or even third little toddler to sleep next to me as I lay awake with an aching heart, knowing that it will be gone too soon. 

I am so, so lucky and blessed to be able to be the mother of five healthy, beautiful, brilliant, and kind children.  I am so content to be "just" a mom and wife.  This won't last forever... as I well know, watching my nearly 10-year-old daughter grow to nearly as tall as I am this year... and I am willing to lay down everything else to be what they need me to be right now.  

I just can't wait to see who God has brought into our family this time.  I can only imagine!

I will update when I can.  I promised the kids that I wouldn't tell anyone (not family, friends, Facebook or the blog!) the baby's gender or name until they heard it first.  They will probably be in school when I deliver, so it will be a long wait for me!  We'd take them out early, but there is the dreaded standardized testing going on at exactly the WRONG TIME for us, and they take it pretty seriously around here.  :)
Next time I type here, I will have some news to share!


Tia kendall said...

Such Beautiful Choas Lerin. Enjoy you precious little kept secrect with your family as long as you can. But do know so many are anxiously awaiting the news. I have enjoyed hearing of your new blessing from afar and can't wait to hear the delightful news. Each and everyone of your blessings are precious. God speed on the delivery and blessings to come.

Katherine said...

Eagerly anticipating your next post...!