Thursday, August 18, 2011

Baby Shower Ettiquette for the Fifth Time Around


As of this afternoon, three people have asked me... "Is anyone throwing you a shower?" And I honestly don't know what to say!

So, I have to ask the whole wide bloggin' world:

When you have 4 adorable children (one boy and three girls) and a fifth one on the way (whose gender will not be "peeked" at before birth)... is it appropriate to have another baby shower? I've had showers for each baby, and it has always been fun. But honestly, there isn't much that I "need" that we don't have. And for a lot of my friends, this would be the third time around on the baby shower thing with me. I guess we could always use diapers, since I failed miserably at the cloth diapering thing with Ben & Lucy. We will definitely need a new carseat and a new baby swing, but those are rather big ticket items and I would feel odd about putting them on a registry.

And another issue... When would we even do it? I'm due in January. Normally, I'd say November or December, but that is a really tough time for a lot of people... juggling multiple commitments and family events and physically/mentally/financially recovering from the holidays. I don't even know when I would want to have the party! I'd hate to feel like I was stressing anyone out with planning and/or trying to fit in my gathering at a busy time.

Please, help a mama out. What do I say? Should I just throw myself a "sprinkle" with pedicures and cupcakes and no gifts necessary? Honestly, I just want to get together with my girlfriends and take pictures for the scrapbook and get excited about the baby! But I don't want to answer with a nervous giggle and a "Why, do you want to throw me one?" anymore. It's awkward. ;)

12 comments:

Elizabeth said...

I wouldn't host one for yourself, but if your friends or family want to host it, then I think that would be fine.

If no one ends up doing one, then invite your friends over like you mentioned -- maybe your hubby could take the kids somewhere (or you could go out!) and let you just hang with your friends.

PS - I like your disclaimer before the comments. *thumbs up* :)

Lerin said...

Thanks Elizabeth! I'm leaning towards a Mom's Night Out. Or maybe even a Mom's Night In. October/November would be the PERFECT time for us Houstonians to have a hot tub party. Or "warm" tub, for the baby's sake. ;)

Colleen said...

You are a lucky girl! I only had one shower for my first. In fact, nobody even brought me a meal after Baby # 5 except for one friend! I guess people think you can handle it once you've had five....

Lerin said...

I am lucky to have great friends! I don't feel like I "need" anything this time, but would love an excuse to party and gush over the baby. :)

beccasfamilyof5 said...

Baby showers aren't really done here in the UKso I never had any for any of my babies as British tradition very much dictates we wait until birth to find out the sex and to recieve presents. Though they are beginning to slowly creep into the UK, I may see 1 or 2 mentions of them a year for my Brit friends.

However, I am off to my first baby shower tomorrow since my sister in law is American and expecting her first baby in Oct. They don't know what sex the baby is either so it's been a bit hard finding a nice gift. So we're making it as American as we can for her (with the help of her US friends) and it's a surprise shower so I am REALLY looking forward to it.

Being a surprise, she never asked for it, let alone suspects it but I agree with the above and that if people wish to throw one for you, graciously accept and enjoy it.

Lerin said...

I love all of these ideas! I'm getting a BUNCH of feedback from my automated blog import too. People have mentioned a "Sip and See" which I haven't heard of, but it sounds fun! Some friends have suggested donating to a crisis pregnancy center in honor of our baby, and I LOVE that. I could always use diapers, that's for sure, so a "Pamper Mommy & Pamper Baby" sounds fun with my close friends and family... I'm thinking pedicures for the ladies and pampers for the baby! We're lucky that the baby is due right after Adam's Christmas bonus usually comes around, so we probably have the carseat and swing covered. And my neighbor Gina has graciously offered her gender neutral baby wardrobe for some nearly-new duds for baby. I buy used at Once Upon a Child and consignment, but gift cards would be awesome if anyone felt like doing it. Basically, I just don't want to make people feel like they are obligated to purchase anything for us when I know that everyone is struggling with their families right now. I want to celebrate and party, but I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable either. So... there are a bunch of ideas for my friends who've asked! But no one is obligated to do or buy anything! Prayers are always the biggest and most lasting gift we could ask for. ♥ Thanks again for the feedback!

Lerin said...

Look what I found! http://www.strollertraffic.com/traffic-log/article/champagne-kisses/

I love the idea of taking a photo with each guest and having them write on a flat card a little "wish" or prayer for the baby. Very cool!

Jenn said...

Another idea is mealbaby. Its a website that your friends get emailed a "registry" to sign up to bring you a meal or for those far away can purchase gift cards or order pizza to be delivered. I am sure help with meals when the baby gets here would be nice, so if friend wants to set that up, they could do that for you as well.

Lerin said...

That's really cool, Jenn! I haven't heard of mealbaby before. I'm getting such awesome feedback that now I have a million ideas for my friends with their third and beyond! Thanks!

Aimee said...

I'd say do a fun girls' night -- an old fashioned "hen" party, as my Granny calls them. Everyone can just enjoy each other and talk about birth experiences/the kids -- which is what happens at every party with all my girls. ;) If people really want to give you something, ask them if they would consider postponing their gift until after the baby comes and you can see what you still might need.

Or better yet, ask them to bring you some food after the baby comes. Meals after the baby were the BEST gift I got, especially when I already had a houseful of kids to feed. They love their new sibling, but they still want dinner. It was such a relief and blessing to me to know that dinner was coming.

GigiKayT said...

Maybe ask people to bring donations to for a local women's shelter or organization that supports mothers/babies/children.

Mom E said...

I had a baby sprinkle instead of baby shower for my 3rd. Either way every baby should be celebrated :) Congratulations and blessings!