Wednesday, April 6, 2011
My darling little Batman turned 4 on March 13th. I didn't take these photos. If it weren't for my precious friends Chryshelle and Dee Dee, I wouldn't have seen my sweet boy enjoy his presents and cake at all.
We had a party at Pump-It-Up, per the birthday boy's request. This is a photo of Lucy, just a few minutes into the party, getting ready to climb up the big bouncy slide.
Just as she reached the bottom, she sort of fell forward on her face. I ran over, thinking she'd scared herself as she started to wail. When I picked her up, her arm flopped... but not bending at the elbow. The two bones in her forearm had completely broken, and her arm was at a strange angle.
I will never forget holding her as she screamed, holding her arm and feeling the bones just beneath the skin in a place they shouldn't be. I ran to the parking lot with her, calling over my shoulder that I was taking her to the ER. When I got into the parking lot, I started shaking so badly I felt I couldn't walk. Chryshelle had gone back for my keys and purse, but by that time it was obvious that I wasn't driving anywhere. We called the ambulance, and I held my hysterically screaming baby as they loaded us on.
Photos by Chryshelle
My tiny little girl has so much fight in her. She absolutely would not let anyone do ANYthing to her... not take her vitals, not put on a bracelet on her ankle... nothing. It was a very long and difficult trip to the emergency room. Thankfully, my baby had not quite weaned yet, and was able to nurse herself to sleep between exams. She finally received pain medications, and they were able to set hr bones without surgery.
My parents took the 3 big kids back to Tulsa for Spring Break, so that I could spend the week focusing exclusively on my Lucy. I held her for seven days straight, giving pain medication by the clock, and watching hours upon hours of Yo Gabba Gabba and Dora the Explorer and Sesame Street. I didn't touch my phone or Photoshop. It was entirely about her.
A few days later, we went to Texas Children's for a hard cast. They left the temporary soft cast on, after x-rays showed that the bones were still not knit together enough to risk removing it first. This has left our Lucycake with a very big, bulky, heavy arm. She cried and closed her eyes the whole time that the doctors put on her new pink cast. It didn't hurt, but it did scare her.
Since she is still unable to move her arm much in the full-arm cast, we've been hiding out at home for three weeks now. She cannot climb or pick things up for herself. I worry when she runs. And my sweet little one is also now terrified of slides. In two more days, we return to TCH and will get a short-arm cast. This one will be waterproof, and she will be able to bend her elbow again.
A complete freak accident changed everything. I just keep thinking how lucky I am that it was only her arm. It could have been worse. I tell you without any exaggeration... that was the most traumatic event of MY life. I've never ever seen any of my babies in so much pain, and it took me several days to recover from the shock. Lucy will not remember this, but I always will.
I've struggled publicly this year with many things... faith, depression, balance, work. This terrible incident did give me one gift: Perspective. As I lay on my deathbed, I'm not going to wish I had taken on one more photography client. I'm going to be glad that I was a mother and a wife, and at the same time, I will wish I had been even better at it. My time and attention need to be with my family first. I'm totally comfortable with saying no to other opportunities that take me away from them. Yes, I will still work as a photographer. But no... I won't let it take over my life. My family IS my life. My clients could easily find another photographer. But to my children and husband... I'm irreplaceable.
at 1:38 AM