Monday, February 28, 2011
Goodness... how everything has changed!
I have so many family members, friends, clients, and acquaintances who read my blogs now. I have to be so much more careful about what I say and how I say it. I've had things misinterpreted or blown out of proportion more times this year than I care to remember. I want my blog to be a blessing, and not a source of stress.
I want to be able to be honest and open with what I am thinking and feeling. I love to write. I love to be heard and responded to. I like having a record of exactly whats happening in my life, to look back on. Writing helps me sort out my feelings, too.
I have, apparently, failed at my second 365 attempt. It is just too much for me at this point in life. I do take photos everyday, but I don't have time to post and write about them every day... or even once a week. I'm glad I started it, as it reminded me how important blogging is to me. But I can just honestly say, a 365 project isn't for me.
I want to talk about some things here that may be difficult topics. I want your feedback and prayers, and your understanding. I want to be able to live my life openly without fear of being misunderstood.
I'm just going to write honestly again and see how it goes.
I'm struggling a lot with faith. While I can tell you (thanks be to GOD!) that I finally have a calm surety that there is a God and He loves us very much, that He sent His son Jesus Christ to save us, and that the greatest command He gives us is to LOVE one another... my understanding of it all is shifting.
I'm having a difficult time coming to terms with the Catholic Church leadership and authority. Since I converted to Catholicism based on this very issue, it is a painful thing to struggle with. I am not leaving the Catholic Church, please don't misunderstand. But so many things have changed within my heart. I think it is a good thing... there is a lot of peace in my heart & mind.
I'm trying to work out for myself (with LOTS of help from God, studying and reading) just how far Church authority extends. It isn't an easy thing to navigate. I can't do anything halfway. I am not the kind of person who can "fake it til I make it" and I am certain that I obsessively over-analyze just about everything.
Anyway, I guess I'm just asking for your continued friendship and prayers as I figure it all out. :)
at 5:04 PM